“I always had an awkward relationship with my breasts - they never felt like a part of me”

To be releasing music again after several years feels like such a relief, it’s so exciting. I kind of forgot how much it actually means. It’s nice to be reminded that it’s more than just me sitting in the studio writing a song – and then it’s over. There’s actually a potential life beginning right now and that is just the craziest feeling. It begins as a form of therapy, and suddenly, this therapeutic journey is being shared with the world.

When I experience things that are either incredibly challenging or something that just embeds itself in me as a strong emotion, writing a song about it is the best therapy. It's as if you let go of it in that moment, allowing the experience to continue living on. Then, you can bring up the song when you want to remember or relive what happened.

Releasing the single in Danish wasn’t a conscious decision. I wrote one song in Danish and I couldn’t stop after that. I just kept writing and writing and it took some time, I had to learn how to write in Danish. But it was really just the craziest natural transition from English to Danish and this is just the beginning.

Moreover, I no longer solely own the song and its story; it’s yours now, and whatever meaning you derive from it, it is meaningful.

When I think about the experiences that have contributed to this release, it really encompasses everything. I reached a point in my life where I thought, ‘This is too good; I need something challenging to keep making music’. Haha. And then suddenly, life unfolded all at once. Be careful what you wish for. No doubt, my life is intertwined with my music, and music is my life. Therefore, what occurs in my private life inevitably finds its way into my music.

So with this new single, ‘Hvad skal man kalde én som mig?’ (‘What should you call someone like me?’), it’s not so much about communicating something in a linear way. It’s more about the stories in it that are worth opening up and discussing. Mainly, it’s about my struggle to break free from boxes. I have never fitted into any boxes and never will.

And then there's the whole discussion about top surgery here in Denmark, which I want to contribute to opening up. It can't be right that you can't undergo the operation here without going through hormone treatment. I know many people with the same story as mine who have gone to Sweden to have the operation done. I want to be part of changing that.

When it comes to the lead up to my choice to transition – I had always had an awkward relationship with my breasts. They never felt like a part of me. Honestly, I've always looked at a flat chest and wondered, 'Why don't I have that?' But it's such a monumental decision, so I've been back and forth for many years, taking two steps forward and one step back, always because I've been terrified of what's on the other side. Who will I become? Will I regret it? Is this just the beginning? I had many profound existential questions swirling in my mind for a long time.

But after considering things, discussing and turning over all emotions with friends and family, I eventually had to make a decision, even though I was scared. I just realised in the end that I would regret even more if I didn't just take the leap and do it. And honestly, it's the best decision I have ever made for myself.

Ahead of the transition, I didn’t really specifically plan how to handle it, where to find support. But I was overwhelmed from all sides by friends and family right after the operation. Everyone was so kind to come and visit and hang out with me, and it was really awesome. I think that's the best form of support one can possibly have.

However, there was definitely quite a tough mental aftermath after the operation, where I think my body and mind needed to reconcile. It was as if I was just confused and down in a black hole and couldn't really find myself. I think my whole system needed to understand what had happened, and it took quite a few months to recover from it. It was really not something I was prepared for, so it definitely came as a shock. I have spoken to many who have gone through the same operation afterwards, describing exactly the same feeling, so it seems to be completely normal.

It never felt daunting to navigate the transition publicly. I’ve actually been looking forward to being public about it. There was a long psychological aftermath where I think my body and mind needed to grasp what had happened and establish a new connection, so I've waited a bit. And then there's the whole issue with scars and sun exposure, which doesn't fully resolve in the first year. So, 2024 and the first summer with my new chest is gonna be the wildest.

I am so happy to be able to share this with the world now and to experience how many others have been through what I have or are going through it as we speak. Being able to be a role model is truly an honour. We all need someone to lead the way, and if I can just be that for someone, I am more than happy. I've received so many messages from people already, thanking me for being open about this topic because they too have experienced a system that did not support them, and it means a lot to me.

Also, the fact that I have actually initiated a conversation in society now. It was something I hoped could happen, so now I just hope it becomes a topic that will be reconsidered on a political level so that this operation can become more accessible for people struggling with gender identity issues.

For anyone else considering a transition, I think the best advice is to think carefully and talk to like-minded people. It helped me so much to talk to people who felt the same way as me and had undergone the operation because then I could somehow sense what lay on the other side and what issues it would solve for me. Once you've reached that point, I think the next step is to schedule an appointment with the clinic to discuss the operation, potential consequences, etc. It's never a binding conversation, so it's just nice to have because you can express all your concerns and talk to someone who has performed the operation many times and can tell you everything about it.

One of the most positive and affirming experiences to emerge from my top operation journey was the overwhelming support and understanding I received from friends, family and people that I don’t even know. It’s been overwhelming really!

I think, to summarise and specify, it's about being open and not carrying all these thoughts alone because it really is a big decision, and everything just becomes easier when you share your heart and are open about it.

For me, the experience has felt like a form of rebirth. My inspiration has undergone a shift, and it's as if the curtains have finally been drawn. There's a remarkable aspect of honesty to it as well. It seems like I was concealing my feminine side before. However, by removing my breasts, it feels like I've shed a significant part of my femininity, enabling me to be more
authentic, feminine, and vulnerable in my music and lyrics.

Making such a significant decision for oneself is one of the most powerful things I have ever experienced. There's such a long period of contemplation, and reaching the point of making the decision and taking active steps to change my situation has been a significant accomplishment for me. I've realised that my gut feeling is always right and that I can
actually trust it. And my T-shirt finally fits just right!