Forget dating apps and disastrous first dates – could the secret to finding your soulmate be written in the stars? From candlelit rituals to cosmic wish lists, we ask the experts how to manifest a husband (and avoid summoning Mr Wrong)
This spring, singer Natalie Imbruglia joined Elizabeth Day on her How to Fail podcast to discuss, among other things, how she manifested her husband. The clip predictably made the rounds online, and it got me thinking about the mechanics of calling in a partner. It’s easy enough to enchant your life with inspirational buzzwords, but sometimes the spell lacks teeth – or worse, you attract someone who matches your checklist on paper but operates on an entirely different wavelength. (You asked for a multilingual finance professional who loves dogs; the universe delivered an auditor who only speaks Latin and brought three untamed Dobermans to drinks.)
Pop culture has taken note. On The Kardashians, Kim revealed she learned manifestation techniques from Michael Jackson to draw in aligned suitors, while Khloé echoed the sentiment, treating it as a baseline tool to shape the dynamic she wants. Been there, done that. To cut through the noise, I turned to practising experts – happily partnered, naturally – for the real rituals and energetic groundwork required to call in a mate.
It’s easy enough to enchant your life with inspirational buzzwords, but sometimes the spell lacks teeth – or worse, you attract someone who matches your checklist on paper but operates on an entirely different wavelength
Lisa Stardust
For many, myself included, previous attempts at manifesting love hit speed bumps: the timing was off, or the wish list wasn't nearly specific enough – ask the universe for someone “adventurous and spontaneous,” and you might end up conjuring an unemployed DJ who doesn’t own a mattress frame. In Day’s case, her mother’s friend Lizzie advised her to write down her romantic non-negotiables in ink, then burn the page to release the intention to the universe. It worked – eventually. Magic is an iterative sport, requiring trial, error, and honest self-assessment. Here is what my coven of experts suggests.
The starting point is radical specificity. “Sit down and have a conversation with your heart,” advises astrologer Narayana Montufar, author of Written in Your Stars. She recommends taking pen to paper to define what a true life partner looks like, stripped of outside expectations. “Most of us carry preconceived notions about what marriage is, which may not even be ours,” she explains. Because the universe responds to energetic resonance rather than superficial wish lists, your birth chart can provide a clear roadmap: “Look at your Moon sign for nurturance, your Venus sign for attraction, and your Mars sign for sexual chemistry.”
Equally crucial is auditing past missteps. Astrologer Renee Watt urges taking stock of where prior relationships unravelled and what red flags were brushed aside. “It's possible you've prioritised traits that are ‘sexy’ over qualities that actually contribute to sustainable connections,” she notes, emphasising that unaddressed jealousy, passivity, or fear will sabotage even the most celestial match. “Once you've gained a strong awareness of what you no longer wish to carry or attract, banish it.”
Once the mental slate is clear, ritual grounds the intention. Corbin Chamberlin, founder of Sage & Salt perfumery, recommends beginning on a Friday – traditionally Venus’s day of love. “Take a cleansing salt bath,” he suggests. “Afterwards, write down the qualities you want to receive in a marriage, then the qualities you’re prepared to give in return.” Fold the page toward you three times, place it beneath a white candle, and recite: ‘I make space for a love I can recognise, receive, and return.’ Chamberlin also emphasises backing magic up with physical space: clear a drawer, a nightstand, or a section of closet to signal you have room for another person in your life.
“Look at your Moon sign for nurturance, your Venus sign for attraction, and your Mars sign for sexual chemistry
Narayana Montufar
For astrologer Lauren Ash, intentional jewellery serves as a daily talisman. “Marriage is about much more than jewellery, but a ring is something you see and feel throughout the day,” she says. Different fingers govern different planetary energies: the thumb aligns with Mars for bold initiative; the index finger channels Jupiter for expansion; and the middle finger invokes Saturn for structure and enduring commitment. “The hand matters, too,” Ash adds. “The right hand is what you’re putting out into the world, and the left is what you’re inviting in. You could wear rose quartz on your right ring finger to signal receptivity, and a stone tied to your ideal partner’s Sun or Venus on your left.”
To bolster your environment, Watt recommends burning pink candles for affection, incorporating stones like rhodochrosite and green aventurine, or wearing essential oils of rose and geranium. Montufar also suggests syncing visual meditations with the New Moon, capitalising on its monthly cycle of clean slates and quiet momentum.
Yet every practitioner shares the same non-negotiable caveat: the real work happens internally before any match arrives. “Before you do the ritual to call in a partner, do the ritual for yourself,” Chamberlin cautions. “We spend so much time thinking about what we want to attract, but very little thinking about our capacity to receive and maintain it. Manifestation isn’t just asking for something – it’s preparing yourself for its arrival."
That preparation often means shedding rigid aesthetics. “Keep an open mind,” Watt advises, noting that fixating on identical tastes in music or film can blind you to a genuine connection. “My husband holds very little resemblance to any fantasies I once carried in my head, but he's consistent, supportive, and makes me laugh. Before he came into the picture, what I thought I wanted didn't align with what I actually needed.”
At its core, calling in a partner demands unshakeable confidence in the outcome and the emotional stability to hold space for them when they arrive. As Montufar points out, trust is the real engine behind attraction: the clearer your belief that the universe is tuned in, the sharper the results. I’ve previously manifested the exact right match on paper only to watch it collapse because I lacked the grounding to sustain it. Doing the internal homework is where the actual sorcery begins. Happy manifesting, witches.
Originally published on Vogue.com